Tuesday, May 11, 2010

A Day In The Life Of India

The official global narrative of events in India is sometimes so misleading, that when the truth emerges, foreigners are stumped at the impossible contradiction of how we are the way we are. Here are two examples:

Case No 1: TELECOM-GATE

Official story: Government privatizes telecom, market booms, consumers get cheap handsets and cheaper tariffs, behold the world's fastest growing telecom market.
Unofficial story: In the background, someone in the Telecom Ministry auctions spectrum without proper guidelines or government consensus for what must have been “super-sized-incentives”. Real estate firms, stock broking firms, Tom, Dick, Chotu and Hari all apply for spectrum (after all, there’s no ‘tender’, it’s on a first-come, first served basis) and a small number of firms without any telecom expertise get valuable spectrum at grossly under-priced 2001 rates. The buyers (make that brokers) quickly mark up and resell licenses to foreign operators for huge profits soon after. Issue becomes public thanks to media (Ave 'The Pioneer'!) doing its glorious duty of exposing all, opposition parties demand resignation. The leader of the coalition party (to which the minister belongs, goes to Delhi, trots out the much-flogged, completely irrelevant caste horse. Matter not being actively pursued by Government because of the delicate nature of the coalition government. Oooooh.
Cry, My Beloved Country.

Case No: 2: IPL GATE
Official story: America-returned entrepreneur back in India, replicates NBA-style model for cricket, rejuvenates the sport, film stars cheer their own teams, nation rejoices & gets glued to new format.
Unofficial story: A junior minister jumps in to "mentor" a league bid, impropriety suggested, he resigns, other murky deals by murkier politicians come to light, the aviation minister’s daughter cancels a scheduled flight of the state owned airline and uses the plane to charter self and cricketers from her team. Caught in scandal, aforementioned entrepreneur claims innocence, denies owning proxy stakes in different teams, releases occasional emotional tweet, expresses sense of wonder and amazement about personal astrological predictions (including but not constrained to: ...is a dynamo...a package of raw radioactive energy... a true Pluto child... will soar like a phoenix... will conquer the 25 moons of Jupiter, surf the rings of Saturn and tenderly twist the time-space continuum... ok, I made up the last one), on verge of getting sacked, prepares to defend himself, as documents from his golden days as a part-time kidnapper emerge, detailing his arrest and indictment.

Comments from spectators: Dhiraj Nayyar of The Financial Express explains: "In many ways the I.P.L. is a confirmation of what India really is: an emerging economy". Ramachandra Guha reminds: "It is the India that is doing well economically. It shuts itself off from the other 800 million Indians who live in the hinterlands."
Another Day in the life of India.

3 comments:

Tyler Durden said...

1. "leader" of the coalition party? you call "that" a leader? maybe your neighbors from oxford hang, draw and quarter you.

2. rejuvenates the sport? Cricket needed rejuvenation? If so, what does hockey (or the 1000 other sports need)? resuscitation?

3. don't you dare demean Sir Modi's tweets. Have you ever read his tweets after a bad day? Do you realize how lucky you are just by not being Modi (or any of his other intellectual friends like theshilpashetty, iamsrk and therealprietyzinta)?

Anonymous said...

Modi is not "America-returned entrepreneur". He was thrown out of the USA for getting a criminal record. He did not finish his degree. Surely you want to add that to the unofficial story line. Gone are the days when "America-returned" meant anything. Now for most part your Indian relatives can travel & see you are a taxi driver not a bidnis man.

Ganja Turtle said...

@Tyler: I feel your pain, dude, but whatever "that" is, it serves the people of TN, making a huge profit out of it... from repairing the local sewer to getting a car factory sanctioned, "those" tentacles are everywhere.
Sadly and apparently, the irony I intended as "official" version does not spring forth - 'rejuvenates' is part of the story that was created; obviously a certain amount of hype... but regardless of whoever the credit goes to, I think cricket is glitzier with the IPL - I cant remember anyone following good old league and Ranji trophy matches with this kind of zeal... is it His Highness or is is the Peoples of India - whatever it is, its working.

@Anonymouse: Thank you for dropping by and for your comment. I apologize for my stark irony not jumping out of the subtly titled "official narrative". My point was that regardless of whatever he is, the official widely retweeted version is of Modi picking up cues from the US version of sportertainment and replicating it in India. As for getting thrown out and finishing his degree, I really wouldn't know since I couldn't find any reliable source on the net-would be enlightened if you could share this with me. And you're right - isn't that an awesome thing, the new-found ability and willingness of an average (upper middle class) Indian to travel across the world instead of sitting at home and moaning about horrendous exchange rates.