Today I found out the meaning of...

VADE MECUM
(c) Billy Collins

I want the scissors to be sharp
and the table to be perfectly level
when you cut me out of my lie
and paste me in that book you always carry.

LATE SHOW
(c) Billy Collins

No wonder everyone loved the private dick
whose only badge is a pack of Camels
and who never dies until the movie is over
and nobody can watch him writhe.

He charges a hundred a day plus expenses
and there would be plenty of time to relax
between cases.

The only suffering in the world would be
those blackjackings from the blind side
his nods to mortality,

but then he fades into a soft dissolve
and comes to on a sumptuous couch
a blonde in a nightgown rubbing his temples
and pouring brandies as she reconsiders
the double cross.

What better style of transport
than an open car squealing along
the Coast highway, one hand on the wheel
as you unravel the onion of the murder
so fast she can't even follow.

What better place to think things over
than a swivel chair in a darkened office,
the pulse of the neon hotel sign
illuminating your notorious face

your hat hanging on the rach where you
tossed it on the way in.

PS: Although I almost missed the generation of Mike Hammer,Carter and Travis McGee, I chanced upon about 30 of these novels in some corner at home. For a 14 year old, the charm of a divorced, chain smoking, rugged detective blustering his way through whistling bullets, skimpy blondes and the occassional weak plot was irresistable - later I realized that there have been more who succumbed.

This poem is a kind of a tribute to this genre...by gently smiling at all the impossibilities that the genre was composed of, Collins also seems to be tipping his hat to an old memory, a friend we left behind when we moved from the suburbs to downtown.

PPS: Especially loved the way he has etched...
"nods to mortality"
"reconsiders the doublecross"
"unraveled the onion of a murder so fast she cant even follow"

For those unfamiliar with these characters, a good starting point would be Calvin's Tracer Bullet ;-)