Feeling more than a bit lazy during practice, I “volunteered” to play the corpse (in a play that’s Sethuramiyer meets Hamlet). Cool, you say? No, not at all…
Cons of being a dead body in an amateur play
- You don’t get to see the play (Considering the amount of “tease” material it generates for drunken times, this is a real loss)
- You can’t slap leave alone scratch when there’s a fly pitter-pattering along your ear lobe or an ant taking nibbles outa your thigh.
- Vengeance is not mine – any &#%&# can kick you, say u stink and comment on your polka-dotted shirt and you have to act the “I am in the Happy Hunting Grounds beyond such earthly nonsense” thing…instead of snapping back like say “At least am not shaped like a polka dot, you fat jerk”
- So called “Sethuramiyer” in an attempt to do ultra-justice to his role can peek into your nose, lift up your shirt (to reveal 6 pack abs-sigh, I wish), mess up your “set wet” hairdo and you still need to pretend that everything’s cool – continue with the “ am just another dead body all in his day’s work” thingy
- Given the rare circumstance of a pretty babe in the play, you can’t stare at her or do, say a jiggly-wiggly, with her…while Sethuramiyer, Tom, Dick and Chacko can. Ye gwads!
After hours of fasting accompanied by solitary and focused thought considering all of the above points, I have decided that I am not going to be a dead body any longer. But before that, astonished reader, I sense you asking that million $ question “Hamlet meets Sethruramiyer CBI?!?!?!”
Thank you for allowing me the pleasure to state “Sorry, reader, this is not my play”. It’s his.
PS: Before he gets offended, let me say ha ha, dear diro, just kidding. Ha ha…see – am a laughing-ha ha –don’t screw up my role-ha ha!
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